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Not to mention most people who participate in kink are going to be celebrating that by dress in leather, carrying whips, and maybe showing off their butts. They can go when they are old enough to be able to have informed conversations with an adult they trust about sex, where you as a parent or guardian can explain what consent is. But that doesn’t make Pride the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Gay children have a lot more avenues for self-discovery than ever before, and that is a wonderful thing. Every member of our community and all of our allies, from children to pensioners, should be able to celebrate their sexual orientation or gender identity without being forced to participate in someone else’s sex life.” In order for that to be possible, boundaries must be set and respected.”īaker-Jordan concludes that “Pride should keep its focus on LGBT folks and our rights, equality, and liberation - not on a fetish that can include straight people and ostracizes some members of our own community.
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Pride should be for everyone in the LGBT community. BDSM and kink displays deter many of us from attending, including LGBT friends of mine with small kids.
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It alienates members of our community who are modest, who have ethical or philosophical objections (as many feminists do), who have children, or who simply do not want to participate in your sex life as unwilling voyeurs. “Overtly sexualized displays - or in more extreme instances, public sex and nudity - breech the boundaries of good taste and decency even as Pride stretches what is and is not acceptable. Skylar Baker-Jordan from the Independent wrote: The fact that this is controversial is insane to me.” Keep less family-friendly stuff to the many, many afterparties and adjacent, private venues every Pride has. Kink is a part of that history regardless of whether it makes people “uncomfortable,” a sentiment that has been shared by many, including popular YouTuber Vaush, who said on Twitter, “Kink at Pride makes people uncomfortable and makes the event less accessible, when accessibility should be a priority. Stonewall didn’t begin gay rights or gay activism, but it was an important focal point that, as a Black bisexual woman, reminds me of the intersectional history that exists within the queer community. People viewed as deviant and not fitting in with the “family-friendly” ideology, even among other LG folks who saw them as emblematic of everything wrong with gay culture. The Stonewall Inn, the origin of the reason we all celebrate Pride, was the site of the Stonewall riots, a place that was frequented by the most marginalized among the gay community in that time: butch lesbians, effeminate young men, drag queens, male prostitutes, transgender people, and homeless youth-people who, even now, still end up being in the margins of what is supposed to be an inclusive community. There are people calling for a family-friendly Pride event. Rather than the normal gatekeeping against people not usually included in the LGBTQ+ spectrum, it has more this time to do with kink and overt sexuality at the event. With Pride coming, there is a lot of discussion about who belongs at the occasion.